For the past eight years, I have been writing about matriarchs, as they are a core part of my work. Many of my clients are matriarch transmuters clearing old patterns in their family lines and instilling the healed blueprint for being a female leader in a family. Aside from carrying the divine feminine frequency in their souls’ codings, how do matriarchs learn to be female family leaders? They learn from those females in the family that have shown them the way.
My paternal grandmother Alyce Blanche Morris Marcell, known as “Grandma” or “Gram” to her grandchildren was a beautiful soul that navigated a challenging life. She had black hair and beautiful green eyes that seemed to sparkle in the light. Her father abandoned her mother and his four young children leaving them in financial struggle. Grandma often told us stories of not having much food and having a lot of responsibility as a child. In my time with her, I remember her smiling a lot, when we had family events. She adored my father; we had that in common.
Grandma cooked great meals and enjoyed when all her children and grandchildren came over. She cooked traditional American food. Her specialty was pot roast with mash potatoes and brown gravy and dinner always included some type of bread and butter. Dessert was coffee cake, jello, or pudding. I remember being a little girl and trying on the various glass perfume bottles sitting on her bedroom dresser. Each one smelled like a different flower and I pretended I was a princess trying on floral scents. When Grandma was with us, I felt nurtured and safe. She always made us something to eat and watched us, while we played. Her eyes matched the innate gentleness of her spirit, despite the harsh world she encountered early on. Maybe it broke her in some ways but it never shattered her loving heart. In my 17 years with Grandma before she passed of cancer, she taught me that life isn’t about money or material things; it’s about family.
My experience with my maternal grandmother, Maria Maryanne Sala Baugh was a bit longer and much different from that of my paternal grandmother. We called her Nanny and many of my readers know about her because she is mentioned in my first book. Nanny loved flowers and crafting. She was of Sicilian heritage–a first generation American and could cook the most amazing dishes. She had brown hair and blue eyes. She was short and cute and would always be singing and humming, while completing ordinary tasks like watering her plants, cooking, sweeping, and driving. Though she lived in Arlington, Virginia with my grandfather, I attended undergraduate college in Baltimore, Maryland, so I visited them every other weekend.
In hindsight, I realize that time was one of the greatest gifts of my life. When I visited, she always had my favorite snacks. We stayed up and watched movies together; she was my buddy. During the day, we went shopping, out to lunch, and spent hours picking flowers in her gardens and making bouquets to adorn the house, which always smelled like magnolias from the fresh blossoms in a vase in the foyer. Nanny taught me how to cook, sew, make potpourri, do ceramics, care for house plants, and make herbal infused oils.
Nanny influenced me tremendously. She nurtured me like a mother, yet as a grandmother, she showed me how a child should be loved. I always knew she loved me not just because she said it also because she showed it by her thoughtful actions. She suffered a debilitating stroke in the spring of my senior year of undergraduate college. She couldn’t attend my graduation or wedding and she died a week after I got married. Although I wish we had more time together, as my grandmother, Nanny showed me how to ground in nature, how to nurture others, and give lots of love to everyone. These are all traits I plan on sharing with my own grandchildren one day in the future. She continues to guide me in spirit, always.
Out of all the women in my life, my mother, Denise Clara Baugh Marcell has influenced me the most. She had me, when she was 22 years old. She’s the shortest one in our Marcell crew with brown hair and brown eyes and a spark of candor that can ignite and inferno, if you mess with her family. My readers know I wasn’t an easy child, especially for a young Catholic mom. She didn’t have a framework to help her understand the world I lived in, which included seeing, hearing, and feeling things that other people didn’t experience. That coupled with the fact that I am a transmuter and bring her distortion to her awareness has made for a challenging road at times for both of us.
Nevertheless, my soul chose her as my mother in this incarnation. She has given me some of the greatest lessons and has often been my trajectory for change. Next to my children, my mother has been my greatest teacher. She has challenged me to be a good mother and she has also helped me develop compassion. My mom had challenges of her own, as a child. Her father had unresolved childhood trauma that affected his adult life and added a lot of responsibility for my mom as a child. Nanny depended on her and my mother had to sacrifice clubs and activities to help out at home.
Like the other women in my family, my mother is an amazing cook. She hosts holidays and family dinners with the table set beautifully in crystal, china, and silver that could never outshine the magnificent array of homemade delicacies she regularly presents. Cooking for her family is an expression of her love; it’s an Italian thing and also my mom’s thing. Her home is super clean and she would never dare hire someone to clean it. Cooking, cleaning, and caring for her family are in her domain.
I think her greatest skill is seen with her grandchildren. They call her Nana. She knows what each grandchild likes to eat and she makes sure to always have those things on hand. She could make peanut butter and jelly and Brayden would say,”Nana makes the best peanut butter and jelly ever!” Another time we were on a book tour for my second book, driving through the South and Brayden randomly asked, “Does anyone miss Nana?” I remember looking at him quizzically and I realized that boy truly loves his Nana! She always goes big when it comes to gifts and the kids love it Nana knows how to make them feel special and important. This is a skill I carry with me.
As a matriarch in my own family, I lead my children with love but also with healthy boundaries, so they can grow. I recognize that both Brayden and Briella have their own journeys and soul agreements, though I can help guide them ultimately the journeys are perfectly designed between them and God. I always have to let go and let God take over. I use my energy tools and have taught my children to use them, as well. This is something I didn’t learn from the other female leaders in my family; it is something that I was born with and the same is true for my children. These tools are new skills that I am contributing in the family line. These tools are integrated in the younger generations and will continue to be normalized in our family’s future generations.
It’s true that some women carry the matriarch healed blueprint but a vital thing to remember is that our soul’s would not have been called to carry that golden template, if those who came before us didn’t do some transmuting of energy in family lines. They paved the way for us Let’s remember that without them, we would have to clear so much more in our fields and in our family lines. They also showed us what we need to let go of and what needs to stay. Two consistent traits the women in my family carried were love and nurturing. These cornerstones have been the foundation upon which I rest the matriarch blueprint and usher in the Divine feminine frequency. My daughter and my nieces carry the next level. It will continue with my grandchildren and all the future females that have yet to birth to this family. We are paving the way, so they have a clear path of Divine feminine love and nurturing to not only support their families but also everything living on this Earth. Always remember who you are and why you are here!
In love and Divine union,
Anysia
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